'Woman be still..'

When we first found out about our assignment in Lagos, I met up with some friends for coffee and spilled the beans before I was barely in the door. I had just given notice at my company and was feeling unsettled about how to spend my time as a SAHM (stay at home mom!) in Houston. The opportunity to go to Lagos felt like a gift because my immediate feeling was one of relief. "Ooh, project!" I thought to myself. And a four year project at that - one that would shield me from that dreaded question - "And what do you do?". It felt good and it felt like time, as we were really missing the adventures and excitement we had experienced in Melbourne. So as I began to tell my friends about this amazing turn of events, I rattled off all the things I was finally going to have time to do - spend more time with the kids, advance my cooking skills with some classes (okay fine, learn how to cook! geez), explore every nook and cranny of Africa, I went on and on. My friends, who have all been expat wives themselves, some in "hardship" locations gave me a blank stare.

"Do you knit?" asked one friend innocently.

"Whot?" What the H does that mean? They proceeded to tell me there was no point in learning how to cook, because we would employ a cook. The kids will be looked after by our nanny, there are often curfews and restrictions on where to go, you have to have a driver with you at all times whom you also share with your husband, and since my husband will be worked to the bone, what appears to be "free" time, will not actually be very free. In fact your job is to manage the household staff and everything that keeps the household running.

"Do you knit?" It haunted my dreams for weeks, I tell you!

But if you know me, then you know I am incapable of sitting at home. Or sitting still for that matter. Maybe for a pedi, but even then I am multi-tasking on email or facebook or journaling in an effort to figure out what I can plan next. This situation really concerned me and I was determined not to let a culture with domestic help at the ready send me down a path where I might sit, and knit.

So here we are 5 weeks into our assignment and I can tell you, I DO NOT have time to knit. And even if I did have time to knit, I wouldn't be doing it at home. I am just too busy. We have hired a stewardess who helps cook and clean, so it seems odd that I would spend my days running from one thing to the next. But since she seems to work just as efficiently as I do, and independently (a rarity I'm told!), then I am free to spend my time how I wish. While she is at the house, I am all over town - school drop offs for both kids, meetings with the American Women's Club, endless grocery shopping (an adventure in itself which I actually enjoy), interviewing drivers, seeking out the best coffee/health club/dry cleaners/hair dressers/salads/steak house/school supplies/kid-friendly restaurants, researching vacation spots, filling in the gaps at our flat - lamps, appliances, lunch boxes, coffee makers, sheets and towels.

The amazing thing is I haven't even started the activities I really want to do - volunteer with street children, join the school PTO, take tennis, join a running club, a book club, a dinner club. My list, albeit slightly different, continues to go on and on.

You know, a nanny doesn't sound too bad!

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