'If you can't stop, at least smile as you go by'
CKGaither Posted on Sunday, May 13, 2012 at 11:49AM ;)
Last night however, we had the unique opportunity to attend a book launch for my friend Diane. She is a experienced writer already and has written the latest in a series of travel guides called "Culture Smart!" This one is of course on Nigeria - an amazing accomplishment in that Nigeria is Africa's most populous country and Diane herself has been here just under 3 years. The event was held at this gorgeous oasis called The Life House - a multi-functional venue that hosts everything from book clubs to art exhibits, live jazz and film showings. There is a lovely outdoor space with couches and landscaping - an inviting green space that is hard to find in Lagos (pics here).
Diane and I met when I was on my preview trip in February - she took me around town and showed me all her favorite artsy haunts and book shops. The calm and effortless manner by which she traversed the streets of Lagos and all the poverty that goes with it astounded me and put me right at ease. At an intersection we were approached by some sweet street children asking for food. As expats we are discouraged from opening windows in the streets to donate money. She smiled and waved, explaining we had nothing to give. She was genuine and thoughtful and everywhere we went, it seemed everyone knew Diane. She is fabulous. Period. It was no surprise then that everyone at the book launch was fabulous too.
In my short, two-month experience, I have found it difficult to befriend locals as the people I interact with tend to work for the company, the housing compound or are in the service industry in general, creating a client/patron relationship. I have met some fascinating Nigerian women through the American Womens' Club (Nigerian women married or partnered with Americans are members) but most work full-time so it is harder for me to socialize with them in my everyday life. At the book launch, however, we talked to fashion designers, artists, photographers, architects, writers, and political advocates. I even met a Nigerian woman who had studied in Boston and still summered at the Vineyard, a welcome flow of common conversation for me.
After two different speakers welcomed Diane, sang her praises, and gushed about my fabulous friend, Diane spoke briefly about her experience in writing the book. The first line of her talk and that of the book, "Nigeria is not, yet, a tourist destination" drew nods of affirmation from the crowd. She went on to explain that after investigating the countless tribes, cultures, and languages that make up Nigeria, many people had shared the same sentiment with her - that "Lagos is not Nigeria". This affected the crowd as well and gave me pause. I realized how the city of Lagos has been my only Nigerian experience thus far - and not exactly an accurate one either. Diane told us how the people she had befriended, interviewed and spent time with shared stories of their childhoods with smiles and warmth; that the dysfunctional and dirty image that often suffocates Lagos is not how they view their country or their culture. Thousands of Lagosians actually grew up in the outer rural regions and are heart-broken over the lack of resources and poverty in the city. Nigerians are proud people and very aware of how outsiders perceive them and she was grateful that as an outsider herself, she had been allowed to share their stories.
When asked if writing the book had changed her perception of Nigeria since first arriving, she just said simply that it was much harder to look away; when the street children or beggers came up to the car window or roamed her neighborhood. She felt, in short, that there was potential for change, but only if we can change our perception of Nigeria.
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