"Are you alright?"

This week we are all sick. And by all of us I mean me. Little C was sick just before we left The States and landed jet lagged and feverish for several days. It turned nasty for a day or two then ended with that barky cough that keeps everyone up. K was more jetlagged than ever after 5 weeks of late nights and even later mornings. I'm still not sure she is on Lagos time as I continue to see her make on-line scrabble moves at odd hours. E has been working like a dog and even had a deal make the news. (Some folks from the office said they saw him on TV but I have yet to find the clip.) 

Despite the fact that I have "Venus", my wonderful stewardess helping me out with the meals and the kids, the late nights and lack of sleep have finally caught up with me. I feel like hell. In these moments, I can't help but blame the rocky re-entry process that Lagos requires. We're back to bottled water (even for brushing teeth), we live in constant air-conditioning (I like it cold, arctic even), all the veggies are washed with Milton, and the fruit - while fresh and safe, is a slimmed down selection of what we got used to over the summer. At best, Lagos offers watermelon, pineapple, mango, oranges, and the occasional batch of grapes if you are willing to pay 3x what you would expect. There is a white melon here that is fine but not exciting and there are heaps of plantains which are really better cooked. I think my body might be experiencing berry-withdrawal; blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries. I couldn't get enough. And the cherries - we ate cherries constantly. Those antioxidants apparently kept us going all summer and now we are paying the price.

Yesterday I ventured out after several days of self-imposed exile to run some errands. Our driver was ill also (maybe he needs some antioxidants!) so we had a temporary driver who doesn't know our routine. My phone minutes were up so I had to visit my least favorite place - the MTN kiosk. It is always a chore and every experience is different despite the fact that I need the same product every time I go there. I picked up the dry cleaning (a fortune) and some wine (ooh.. antioxidants!), then sat in traffic longer than necessary at 3pm on a Tuesday so that the driver could get me home and still get back to the office to pick up E. It was an exhausting outing but really no different than any other I had experienced in Lagos before our summer holiday. It is just an adjustment that cannot be measured - until you come home and just want to sleep.  And sleep.

Today I woke up and decided to rally for a run - on the treadmill. There is a neighborhood nearby that you can run in but you really need a buddy for safety and since none of my pals are back yet, that means a trip to the gym. In my book, any workout is a win but it was nothing compared to my flower-filled jaunts around Cape Cod or some of the soul healing runs I took in Denmark and Norway. It was a lame workout to say the least. I came back a bit deflated and again, just wanted to shower and sleep. 

I can accept being run down or tired especially given our lifestyle the past 6 months but I am not good at being sick - under any circumstances. In my world, this means everything comes to a grinding halt. I also feel weak and I hate feeling weak. Especially in Lagos. It takes a lot of energy to get even small things accomplished so it is particularly frustrating to move at a slower pace than I am used to. I keep telling myself to take advantage of the last week left of summer vacation. The kids are home and I have Venus to help me. Before I know it, we will all be up at 530am racing to make the bus, dealing with after school activities, and the ever-so-tiring homework/bath/bed routine.

If only I could get out of bed.

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'Timekeeper'

After almost 6 full weeks of travel, we are finally back in Lagos. If I count our trip to Denmark and Norway we have been on the go for over 8 weeks or two straight months. Despite our fatigue, I feel great about how we spent our time; primarily because we saw some of our nearest and dearest friends and family members. But if I am perfectly honest with myself, being on the go that long made it easier to come back - something friends had warned me was difficult after being in one's home country for so long (and becomes more difficult every year after that). I admit I was actually eager to get back to our flat, be in our own beds, and see some friends we have made here. I was equally excited to be back with our stewardess who I realized even more deeply is indispensible to me! 

When we first moved to Lagos, it was close to Easter and most people were going away on holiday. It seemed a lot of folks couldn't get away fast enough and lived from one vacation to the next. A few people finally explained that Lagos just wears you down. I had also been told that the company gives the families a long "home leave" in an effort to help everyone recharge. I have to say, this is good advice. Not only do we feel recharged from the constant efforts we made to be outdoors and see loved ones but I feel energized about our life ahead. 

For the first time in a long time, we are not coming or going, packing or moving. The transitional period is, for the most part over. While I know we will continue to face cultural challenges, we are finally past the logistical issues that accompany an overseas move. For me, this has absorbed the majority of my time for the past 6 months or more so I am excited to take on some new activities and actually live here. And if there's one thing an expat wife can find in Lagos, it's activities! Charitable fundraisers, school committees, American Women's Club, tennis and pilates - my bucket list is long.  For me, staying busy is the only way to ward off potential homesickness and ennui.

When we finally unpacked from our home visit, I asked "Venus" our stewardess to help me put up some of the colder weather clothes and adventure gear I had bought whilst in the US. I showed her the cute little safari jacket I found for K and the hiking boots for C. She asked me when we might need them again and I told her about our plan to go to South Africa for the fall break. We haven't planned it out yet but decided it was the best time of year to go based on the heat and the prices.

She politely reminded me the kids' fall holiday starts in early October this year; in fact we could even plan our flight the day the kids are let out of school, Friday September 28 - just 8 weeks away.

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'Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa'

We have been on Cape Cod for almost two straight weeks now, and it has been, in a word - Glorious. We had a seamless trip from Pittsburgh to Boston on a gorgeous and sunny Friday afternoon, stayed with family and were set up in our rental house in Centerville by Saturday afternoon. The house is great and just a short walk from Lake Wequaquet- an area I know well from the summer I spent as a nanny (at 17!) in nearby Osterville. And most importantly, the weather has been amazing, which when you rent on the Cape at Cape Cod prices is just a God-send!

Our first week was extremely relaxing (pics here!). E was able to stay for the week and was even able to visit with an Aunt and Uncle who live in Boston. I made a very concerted effort not to "shop and stock", or make too many plans with local friends of mine (as I am the Bostonian) and it really paid off. We spent each day at a different beach and E even rented a bike for a few days touring Nickerson State Park and the Rail Trail. Neither of us have been on a bike in over 10 years but E really took advantage of the scenery and the freedom that visiting the US offers. We basically vegged out for 5 straight days on the beach eating as much salad and fruit as we could!

We did, however, make time for a wonderful 4th of July party at our family Cape House in a town called Marstons Mills. This house means the world to me. My grandparents bought it in the 1940s and ultimately retired there and in Florida. My Aunt was married there in the 60s and E and I were married there in 2000 just before moving to Houston. I spent countless family holidays there as a child and have so many memories of running around the grounds and the lake with my cousins. This was the first time my children, my sisters' children, and my cousins' children - 6 in all, ages 5 through 12, were all there at the same time. It is hard to put into words what this meant to me and to my aunts, uncles, and family! 

Since E had to head back to Lagos, my mom was nice enough to stay with me for the remainder of the trip. We invited my nieces to stay as well so that she could have all of her grandchildren together. It has been really fun but I have an entirely new appreciation for anyone with more than 2 kids! We beached, we mini-golfed, we got pedicures. We watched The Muppet Movie. We ate A LOT of ice cream! K got to splurge at the American Girl store and my 12 year old niece and I splurged at the Cape Cod Mall and Sephora. Grandma and I splurged on steamers, "lobstah" rolls and episodes of Downton Abbey - Grandma's new favorite show!

Amazingly we have yet another week to spend on the Cape but we are headed up to Boston for a few nights to break up the trip and squeeze in a few more visits. (I am probably the only person leaving Cape Cod for Boston this weekend as it is expected to be in the high 90s!) Even more amazing to me is how the time is flying by but in a bizarre and relaxing sort of way - a very new experience for me. My friends have often called me a "Whirling Dervish" so slowing down is not my normal nature.

Thankfully I have a small window in Houston where everything will have to happen at warp speed - shopping, stocking, and packing (again!).

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'A Sort of Homecoming'

This week we are in the USA. It's been a crazy few weeks since moving into our permanent flat, finishing the school year and jetting off to Denmark and Norway for a wonderful 10 day holiday with some close friends (partial pictures here!). Three days after returning to Lagos, we unpacked, repacked and hit the States for a month-long holiday - this time with E in tow. Now I have no business complaining about being in a position to travel the way we do, but it has been, so far, a bit exhausting.

The kids have been great overall (save the usual sibling rivalries and some table manners that clearly declined in transition) and our travel plans have gone off without a hitch. But when I really think about it, the whole family has been in a constant state of either coming or going for over 7 months. Since November, we've packed and sold our house, slept in countless beds in both hotels and temporary housing, left school, started school and left school again, said goodbye to friends and made new ones, and invited both a driver and a nanny to share in our crazy every day life. I actually felt guilty about setting up and decorating the kids' rooms, books, toys and play room only to then whisk them away from it to live in temporary housing yet again. But in the big picture - we are happy and enjoying the journey despite the constant feeling of flux.

This week we are in Pittsburgh where E's parents live and where he grew up. It is beautiful in the summer and we have been hitting all our old haunts- little diners, local parks, our favorite tourist sites (see pictures here!). We are even lucky enough to catch up with some of E's high school friends in town for their reunion. We have eaten fresh veggies from my father-in-laws' garden, devoured my mother-in-law's homemade sticky buns, and consumed a whole lotta corn bread. Most of all we are enjoying the freedom that comes with the simplicity of drinking from the tap, eating bagged salad, or taking an evening walk. Just driving along small country roads to the corner store is a breeze and the roads seem shockingly empty compared to Lagos. The air is fresh and crisp and it has made us all ridiculously tired but in that wonderful way that helps you sleep really well - which is precisely why we chose Pennsylvania for the first part of our holiday. It is slow and quiet and we can take our time getting caught up; which is good since we still have a ways to go. Friday we leave for 3 weeks in Boston and Cape Cod, we'll spend a week in Houston seeing friends and stocking up, back to Lagos for just a few days of unpacking and jet lag recovery and then if we're lucky, we'll be off to Morocco.

I gotta catch some Zs!

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'Birthday'

Today is E's 40th birthday. And it has been a whirlwind week! Well, if I'm really honest it has been a whirlwind couple of months but this last week has really kicked our butts. We moved into the flat less than a week ago and have worked like dogs to get the house set up and functional. E has been working like a dog at work and the kids' routine has been upset once again due to location of the new flat, new bus route, end of the year parties, a holiday weekend, and overall overload. Every day this week, someone has missed the bus and twice this week I had to have a one-on-one conversation with a teacher due to a missed communication. Amazingly tomorrow is the kids' last day of school and it has flown by. But at the same time we are clearly all due for a break - which starts in two days as the kids and I leave for a 10-day holiday to Denmark and Norway.

Sadly, E can't come with us. When we booked the tickets it was understood by all that it just wasn't the right time for him to leave - being the new guy around the office and all. But also, we have another trip to the US planned in July and hopes for South Africa in October so there are only so many trips he can accompany us on. Most of the families I know here operate the same way - the spouses and children head off on holiday when school ends and the primary employee meets up with them later. Many families return to their home countries and their actual homes and the employee just goes back and forth. But as we no longer have our home in Houston, we will be traveling most of the summer, which sounds amazing but is logistically difficult.

Now that the trip is upon us (2 days!) it feels odd to leave E behind. He has been working just as long as we have on our relocation - keeping it moving, ticking the boxes, making sure we all have what we need and now that we are in our house, unpacked, out of school, and ready for a break, only part of our family is off to celebrate. We chose Denmark and Norway because we have very close friends living there so that feels particularly cruel. In a twisted way, I am envious of his freedom - a quiet house, meals cooked, a clean house, not sharing a driver, total control of the region-free DVD player! But to him, our trip means a safe, clean environment, where one can walk and explore freely; museums, gardens, castles, viking ships (I'm told!), hanging with friends, and just being a tourist - something Lagos does not offer easily or at all. 

Two weeks ago, we had let Mothers' Day and our 12th anniversary pass with little fanfare - we just weren't able to celebrate in a large way. Today we went out to lunch and had cake with the kids at dinner. We agreed we would treat ourselves to a special get-away to make up for the missed celebrations.

South Africa, Zimbabwe, Mali, Kenya, Gabon, Madagascar - they're all on our list. We just have to find the time and make the effort - before someone else turns 40. I'm not saying who but the Turkish Riviera is high on her list!

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