"You Wanna Freak Out.."

"Play it smart, soul intact; How you react, is what you'll get back..."

My previous post message still stands. And I am still caught in a whirlwind. In fact, our glorious 10 day holiday to South Africa (pics here!) feels more like someone hit the Pause button on a CD blaring speed metal music. But it was so lovely! So easy. So cheap. And it seems so long ago. But thankfully we indulged - big time. Enough to keep it (and a good 5 lbs) fresh in my memory. Gorgeous hotel, perfect tour guide, room service, champagne every night - even at lunch! Walks, hikes, whale watching, penguin cooing, cheetah petting, globe trotting. It was a dream that ended too soon and a perfect escape from the over-committed schedule I had carved out for myself just prior to leaving. 

While it was hard to leave my TO DO list behind (kick off party, halloween party, welcome coffees, facebook page, new website, Multicultural night..), the really challenging part was coming home 10 days after being off the grid, returning late on a Saturday night, unpacking, doing laundry and packing again for Dubai first thing Sunday morning. Now, I know that sounds ridiculous. I mean who would complain about going to shiny and clean Dubai over staying in Lagos? I'm not complaining but wow, am I exhausted. Because Dubai was, in a word, amazing. And not just the city itself - which does look amazing, (although I didnt see as much of it as I would like) but the people I met there. 

I went to Dubai for a workshop as part of my on-boarding training as the new 'welcome wagon' for E's company. For every international location the Company maintains an office and employs expats, there is a volunteer organization like the one I am leading. I basically spent 3 days and nights with 30 amazing women from all over the globe. Some had held the position at more than one location. Some, like me were new. Many were veteran expat wives with over 20 years of relocation experience. Some were first time expats who were just looking for something interesting to do and people to meet.

And there is so much to do. Because for me, the organization is, and should be so much more than a "welcoming committee". I spent hours in workshops learning about Career and Development training for trailing spouses, how to counsel unhappy, stressed, and depressed spouses, deal with segmented families whose children are in boarding school, cultural sensitivity training, working with families forced into hardship assignments, social networking and corporate privacy laws. Every session was fascinating and every woman there had knowledge to share. 

Sometimes when I am having a little pity party, I like to advertise the fact that Lagos is a "hardship location" but this workshop really put things in perspective for me. I talked to a woman who had lived in Bonny Island (off the Niger delta) for over 8 years. It's an island - of expats. The logistics she deals with just to get to Lagos ("the big city") astounded me. I met women from Gabon who have elephants terrorizing their camp. Women from Cairo, who just last year were evacuated and now have to manage a community of families living in a post-crisis location; a "hardship assignment" without "hardship pay".

Miri, Beijing, Doha, Dubai, Muscat, Paris, Bangalore, I couldn't get enough of talking to these women and hearing about their experiences. We have so much in common and yet I felt so green. Two overseas assignments and no language barriers? How could I possibly counsel a spouse in distress? A mother missing her child? Someone struggling with a new language? I guess that part will work itself out - part of my job is to bring people together so if I can't help someone, I can usually find someone who can. 

So now I am trying to put my party planning and social expectation stress aside and remember that that is not what the job was designed for. I just need to remember that it is about helping people in transition. To be fair, I think I know a little bit about living transition. Well, me and every other woman I meet.

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