"Bohemian Like You"

'So what do you do? Oh yeah, I wait tables too. No I haven't heard your band. 'Cause you guys are pretty new. 
But if you dig on Vegan food. Well come over to my work. I'll have them cook you something that you'll really love...'

So I've decided that ExPat life is basically like College.

Or "Uni" as I have started to say because everyone around me is European or Australian and only Americans with undergraduate degrees call their post high-school years "college". But you get the idea. "College" (cue "Blutarski")- as in the four years that most of us spent away from home and with a freedom only dreamt about while watching bad American movies. My college life was stellar actually. An experience that most of my peers had but one that all 'Batesies' assume was ours and ours alone. Off on my own for the first time; an adult with adult choices and responsibilities; the world was my oyster, blah blah blah. 

But seriously, I find myself drawn back to college experiences every day while living here. I think it started with the housing. Our community does not live on a "camp" like other big companies here so where you live is a critical factor based on your family life and your interests. There are some family-friendly compounds and some more suitable for empty-nesters. But you don't really get a choice -  rather you have to strongly state your preferences and hope like hell you get what you want. My college was a very small community in the midst of a huge housing crisis - my class holding the record year for both applications and acceptances. Despite the campus being a few square miles, where you lived meant everything. The co-ed dorm? the jock dorm? the stoner dorm? the chemical free dorm? the all-freshman dorm? The 1st question anyone ever asked you was where you lived and your answer basically dictated your friends and your life for the next four years.

Socially, the vibe is very similar here. Most of us chose this life and yet other than a short "looksee" visit (Prospective Student Visit? what was that called?) and some online research, we have a very skewed idea of what life is like - until we get here. Then it's all about where you live, making friends, figuring out how to get around, where to shop, how to manage your money; you are basically starting over. You feel like The New Kid and basically like a goof most of the time - as if everyone knows what they're doing except you. 

When I was in school and there was, ahem, no internet (gads!) or email (whot??) parties were advertised via "table mail". This was basically a pile of mini posters that were left on the dining tables in the ONE cafeteria that 1500 students used every night. It was our only link to the social scene (the Social Network if you will!). If a party was being held, it was advertised as "table mail". Larger posters would dot the campus but table mail was the one sure-fire way to advertise since everyone had to eat and not everyone went to the gym. The best part about table mail was that the quality of the artwork was unquestionably linked to the quality of the party especially since there were lots of 'ahtsy' types at my school.

Sadly, "Table Mail" went away once everyone got all green-minded and felt it was a waste of paper. That sucked. Also the internet arrived, which sucked for a while too since you still had to go to the computer center!

In the housing compound I live in now, parties are often advertised by a flyer pinned to the cork board by the elevator or posted by the clubhouse. The first time I saw this, I felt a twinge of emotion. Awww.. Table Mail! Of course the community has email and a facebook page and a website, but I still drive to the different compounds to post my party flyers because I feel we are all drowning in email and a poster at least shows some effort!

When I first arrived in Lagos, a familiar conversation would take place with anyone I met: When did you arrive? Where did you live before? How many kids do you have? How long will you be here?

Scene Set: Fall 1991, Lewiston Maine, a dark musty basement party smelling of keg beer: "So where are you living? What year are you? Where are you from? What's your major? What prep school did you go to? We should hook up some time..."

Now don't get me wrong - Lagos is treating us well and we are enjoying ourselves. And there is tons to do, and lots of fabulous parties! But I am constantly amazed at how life continues to throw us into situations that feel foreign but are actually just a do-over of a prior experience. I have moved countless times, said goodbye to friends, made new friends, learned and sadly, forgotten new languages. I have started over before and I'll do it again.

Today I saw some friends at the clubhouse. "So when do you leave on break? Where are you going? Do you still have your house? When will you be back? We should hook up some time".

At least I think it was today. 

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